by Tracy Mills
Counselling for grief involves talking about the loss and so enables the person to come to terms with the loss over time.Grief can be caused by events other that a death of a loved one – relationship break up, loss of a job, learning of a terminal illness for example.
Grief counselling enables the person to explore issues and factors that can either help or hinder the natural process of greiving the ultimately enables the person to re adjust after the loss. Grief is one of the most painful experiences we go through. As we live our lives, we experience many small losses that ultimately help us to handle the large losses that cannot be avoided. When a loved one has been ill for a protracted lenght of time, we experience great sorrow when the bereavement eventually occurs. However when a sudden death occurs our world is thrown into turmoil and we feel confused and go into denial over the death. This is called a complicated grief reaction by counsellors and is brought about because we were not emotionally prepared for the loss.
Grief counselling can take place either individually or in groups. Grief counselling is most common after a loved one dies, but may also be beneficial after other grief-provoking situations, such marriage break up, job loss, the diagnosis of a fatal illness or another reason. Grief counselling works to overcome the person’s intense feelings of loss.
When someone we love and are close too dies, we will receive much attention from close friends and family. But soon others will “move on”, especially when the loss is not so close to them. The person grieving however may not feel that they can “move on” just yet. In this situation grief counselling can be very beneficial, this is especially so if the if the death was sudden. Grief counselling gives the person a route to adjust to the loss and receive assistance that is not be available from family, friends or other people in our network.
Counselling for grief is particularly important for those who may have had a strained relationship with the bereaved, socially a little isolated or previous to the loss had emotional issues.Grieving is a process that cannot be rushed and counsellors are aware of this. Counselling will make it clear that the feelings or choices made while grieving are normal and natural.
The aims of the grief counsellor differ to regular counselling which is undertaken to change behaviour. Instead, the aim of the grief counsellor is to be “present” for the bereaved when they are experiencing a most vulnerable period in their lives. The term compassioning is sometimes used by counsellors.Most often the grief counsellor helps the person by listening in an active manner and showing empathy. Then assisting the person to find coping mechanisms to deal with the grief.
