For many of us, our pets are beloved family members with whom we share our daily lives and lifestyles. Our furry, finned and feathered friends are our constant and loyal companions in whom we confide and with whom we share our feelings and secrets. They may serve as guides, teachers, friends and healers. We, in turn, are their caregivers. They depend upon us for their food and water, their health and wellbeing, our love and affection. Their very lives are dependent upon us.
They love us unconditionally and bring us comfort and joy. They know us better, perhaps, than our human friends. Many of us find ourselves inseparable from our pets. When we lose them, we suffer deeply. The grief we experience over their loss is similar and comparable to the grief we feel at the loss of a beloved human companion or family member. The symptoms and manifestations of grief that we experience over their loss are essentially the same we feel over any serious loss.
Grief is one of life’s most painful and complex emotions. However, it is the normal, healthy and natural response to loss. Unfortunately, we, as humans, are taught very little about grief and loss and how to cope with and recover from them even though we will experience them over and over again throughout our lives.
Grief is cumulative – meaning that the many experiences of grief we have had during our lifetime contribute to and result in the even more profound grief and sense of loss we may feel after the loss of a beloved and devoted animal companion. Most of us can handle a certain amount of grief, but often, it is the death of one with whom we share our daily habits and routine and with whom we eat and sleep that acts as the proverbial “straw that breaks the camel’s back.” Although many of us find it extremely difficult to cope with the deaths of humans we love, we are devastated when we lose a loving, innocent and vulnerable animal companion who is pure-of -heart, and for whose life we are responsible. We may lose our ability to cope and we may manifest some of the many symptoms and characteristics that are associated with grief and grieving.
We may experience such physical reactions as stomach or headaches. We may experience pounding of our hearts, shortness of breath or a heavy feeling in the chest. We may feel restless, I unable to sleep or eat or exhausted. Mental manifestations of grief may include anxiety, tension, absent-mindedness, or an inability to concentrate. Other emotional reactions may include: shock depression, anguish, despair, guilt, uncontrollable crying, and feelings of relief, loneliness helplessness and anger with God. Socially, we may withdraw or isolate from others. We may feel alone and intensely lonely.
It is important to understand that you are not alone in terms of grieving and mourning the loss of your pet. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about your feelings. Your animal companion has been a dearly loved friend and/or family member deserving of your love and respect. Take time to honor, celebrate and eulogize the life of your beloved pet. His spirit will remain in your heart and your soul forever.
Dr. Diane Pomerance is a highly acclaimed pet expert and author of countless articles and seven books including The Animal Companion Series.
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